November is National Adoption Month
As we approach the holidays and the Christmas season, be especially mindful of birth families and infertile couples. For pregnant women making an adoption plan, more specifically those due around the holidays, future Christmases may forever be connected to memories of the birth of their child. In general, Christmas and child birthdays are tough for all birth parents.
Christmas is often a very difficult time for couples struggling with infertility as well. Children are excited about Santa Claus and presents under the tree. Christmas day celebrates the birth of the baby Jesus to a childless couple. Infertile couples long for a child and pray that a baby will be in their lives by next year
Showing lots of love, hugs and support is what these friends and family need. Just be there for them and listen to their hearts…
Interview with a Birth Mother
( As in the past, I am posting part of an actual conversation with a birth mother who recently placed her baby for adoption through A Angel Adoptions. She is aware that this is being posted on social media. Some identifying information has been deleted or altered due to confidentiality concerns.)
(Suzanne)
It has been about a month now since you gave birth to your daughter. So, how are you feeling now – physically and emotionally?
(Birth Mother)
I am doing fine physically! I am back at work and attending classes. Overall, I really feel that I’m doing well. Knowing that my baby is in the right place is good enough for me. Knowing that she’s okay is more important than anything in the world! I also love that she has an older sister and that they both have open adoptions too.
(Suzanne)
How is the birth father doing emotionally?
(Birth Mother)
He is doing well too! In the beginning of our adoption process he really felt a lot of guilt and shame… It was really hard on him and me because he felt he should have been able to support us financially and be a man to his girlfriend and baby. But it wasn’t his fault or mine that we aren’t in a stable place in our lives and unable to raise a child.
Because he feels so positive about the adoptive family and our open adoption, he and I feel so much better now. We know she’s really in a great place and we know we made the right choice for our baby girl!
(Suzanne)
When did you and the birth father first start thinking about the adoption option for your baby?
(Birth Mother)
Well, aborting the baby never crossed our minds! Next, we really did start talking about how we could raise our baby. We looked at things from all sides and we just couldn’t do it. We both work part-time and I’m taking college classes. We are barely making enough to pay our bills. Our families really can’t help us either. They have their own lives and problems as well.
We have some good friends who got pregnant and chose to raise the baby. We see them struggling in so many ways… Raising a child is really, really hard…
The birth father was the one who started going online and looking at adoption agency websites. He is from another country and was adopted from an orphanage as an older child. His adoption was very closed and an open adoption wasn’t even an option for his birth parents or his adoptive parents.
Hearing about domestic adoption and the option of being in control of your plan was really exciting for the birth father to read about! He started doing a lot of research and would tell me what he read. He did his own investigating of agencies and finally found one agency that he felt in his heart was the one we should go see.
(Suzanne)
Was that my agency, A Angel Adoptions?
(Birth Mother)
Yes! He told me that he really liked how your agency handled the adoption process. I remember him saying that your agency felt really fantastic and that he could tell that you cared about all your babies and the families they were going to. He showed me your agency website. Right after, he contacted you and made an appointment for us to come in.
(Suzanne)
I remember that initial meeting so well. We met for several hours. You were both so sweet and my heart really went out to you both…
(Birth Mother)
I was really nervous the first time I met you. I don’t know what I expected but when we left your office, I really felt a peace after meeting with you. We could both tell that you were very invested in what you do. We could also feel how important it was to you to place our baby in a great home and that helping everyone, birth families, babies, and adoptive families was your passion!
(Suzanne)
You are exactly right! Would you feel comfortable sharing with my readers your current level of communication with the adoptive family and what your open adoption looks like!
(Birth Mother)
Of course! Well, you showed us profiles of adoptive families who had the qualities we were looking for in the parents of our daughter. All of the families were great but we did find our hearts connecting with one family in particular!!! This couple had infertility and weren’t able to get pregnant. They had adopted one baby through your agency and had come back to you for a second adoption. We were fine with a family in Alabama or in another state. This family lives out of state. They soon came to Alabama to meet us. We had an instant connection right away!
The birth father and I talked and texted with them during the rest of the pregnancy. They were at the hospital with us during labor and delivery and they were able to get a room by ours so we four and the baby could spend time with one another.
Everything went great! It was “bittersweet” as you say, Suzanne, but God brought us and our daughter a great family! I would also like to mention that the hospital staff was very kind to all of us too!
The birth father and I get texted pics and talk to the adoptive parents weekly. They also send us videos which we Love!! They have also sent us hard copies of pictures as well. They actually sent us the first onesie she outgrew! Can you believe it! They also sent us several milestone cards from her pediatric visits. Isn’t that sweet! The parents are so sensitive, in a positive loving way, to our feelings. I don’t know if they realize how much all of these little intentional acts mean to us. We feel constantly affirmed that our daughter has the best mom, dad and big sister ever! We are confident that we will all remain close through the years!
If you are a woman considering adoption in the state of Alabama, please call 205-621-0316 day or evening 24/7 for additional information on our agency and services. We would love to work with you!